April 2012
45 posts
NOISE, n.
A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization. Usually produced by men acting like boys who cannot pull up their pants.
NOBLEMAN, n.
A wealthy American ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life. In the Philippines, an oxymoron.
NIRVANA, n.
In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it. In Hedonism, it is what you play during pot sessions.
Occasionally, I even get paid a little something...
I’ve found that a curious mind is a great gift. To be fascinated by the world, to love stories and people and ideas, and to meet them with sincere openness (and only as little cynicism as is absolutely necessary for survival) makes life an infinite, colorful adventure.
NIHILIST, n.
A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.
“Pag tumaas, problema. Pag bumaba, problema pa din. Mag taas-baba, taas-baba na...”
– WALA LANG
NEPOTISM, n.
Appointing your blabbermouth sister and his gay pal to office for the good of the country.
NEIGHBOR, n.
One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
NECTAR, n.
A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the local folks down in Quezon believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient — coconut sap.
MYTHOLOGY, n.
The body of a primitive people’s beliefs concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts, which it invents later.
We don't want an empty Congress!
Oppose House Bill 5734 or the Act Defining the Crime of Sexual Infidelity.
http://ph.news.yahoo.com/congress-pushes-bill-against-sexual-infidelity-131042933.html
MYRMIDON, n.
A follower of Achilles — particularly when he didn’t lead.
MUMMY, n.
An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
MULTITUDE, n.
A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman’s adoration.
MULATTO, n.
A child of two races, ashamed of both.
MOUTH, n.
In men, the gateway to the soul; in women, the outlet of the heart.
MOUTH, n.
In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.
MOUSQUETAIRE, n.
A poor way to spell ‘musketeer’. A long glove covering a part of the arm.
MORE, adj.
The comparative degree of too much.
MORAL, adj.
Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.
MONUMENT, n.
A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
Because I Got High – Afroman →
I messed up my entire life because I got high I lost my kids and wife because I got high now I’m sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why cause I got high!
“Have you ever been close to tragedy
or been close to folks who have?
Have you...”
– The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
MONSIGNOR, n.
A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.
MONKEY, n.
An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in family trees.
MONEY, n.
A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.
MONDAY, n.
In Christian countries, the day after mall day.
MISS, n.
The title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss (Ms.), Missis (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. The first two are corruptions of Mistress, the last one of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in our country, they miraculously survived to plague us. If we must keep...
MISFORTUNE, n.
The kind of fortune that never misses and no one misses.
MISERICORDE, n.
A dagger which in medieval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
MISDEMEANOR, n.
An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
“In the classes I teach there is always a student who announces that photographs...”
– John Loengard, from Pictures Under Discussion (via photosfromfilm)
“PNoy tells North Korea: Focus on food crisis not rockets. Pinoys to PNoy: focus...”
– WALA LANG.
MISCREANT, n.
A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology’s noblest contribution to the development of our language.
MIRACLE, n.
An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
MINOR, adj.
Less objectionable.
March 2012
24 posts
MINISTER, n.
An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In the Philippines, they are called cabinet secretaries because they usually keep the boss’ ‘cabinets’ spic-and-span, affording their chieftain more time for gallivanting, otherwise known as ‘noynoying’.
